Lots of lasts

So things are changing... last wesley, last intern appreciation, last golf tournament, last jamaica trip (sorta), last crosstrainers retreat, lots of lasts. But I guess there are also about to be a lot of firsts... I hope! First place of my own, first (fill in the blank) after wesley. All I've ever known in my "adult" post college life has been Wesley. And I've been confused because I haven't been crying more. And we all know what a crier I am. I'm trying to figure out what I'm feeling but I'm just not quite sure. I guess I'm feeling a lot of things. Part of me feels like a failure because I don't know what is next. I love a plan and I have none. Not a clue. There I said it, I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M DOING. That's really hard for me to admit. But, the firsts are coming. They have to be. Even if they aren't the firsts I thought they would be or maybe even want them to be, they have to be coming. Because I have to believe that all this change has to be for my good. I have to believe that all the things that are going away, everything that's been so comfortable for so long, everything I've known has just been preparing me for what's to come. Some days are easier than others to believe the Lord for His promises. But I just have to believe that He has a plan, b/c I can't believe the alternative. Because right now all I have to bank on are the Lord's promises. He is really all I have right now. I know He will come through, He always has- I just don't know how yet or when. But I know that it's going to be great somehow, it just has to be. And I'm sure the tears will come at the directors retreat. It's the last one.

I'm in Jamaica!!

I'm back in the land I love and updating my other blog! Sorry to my blog- it's not that I don't love you- it's just I have a hard enough time updating you- I'm not sure I can do two at once! :) But we'll see how things go. But for anyone who reads this- mainly just for you Catherine- here's the other blog! Miss you Catherine!! here's the link to the other blog http://jamaicamissions-portmaria.blogspot.com/

I did have a really fun time on Tuesday playing dominos! And I won a few times!! :)

How quickly things can change...

So today I'm thinking about how quickly things can change. I've seen it and I'm currently seeing it all around me. It's funny, how things seem so far off- then they happen. But it felt like they were forever away.

So I'm just wondering if I'm on the brink of change. It feels like I'm on this side of "something" or "anything" being forever away. But I've also been on the other side where it actually didn't take as long as it seemed it once would. I've felt like something was gonna or had to give for quite some while now. I just don't know what that something is. Is this the vaguest blog ever or what?! I'm not trying to be vague, just how life is right now. It's not a huge secret that I don't know what I'm doing next year. Trying to figure that out has been... interesting? I don't know. What I want changes daily or hourly or by the minute! I'm just asking the Lord to really shut the door to Wesley if that's what He has. I need to really know, because I don't think I will ever not love Wesley!

So I feel like I'm in this weird place. My life could be totally different in 6 months. Or it could be really the same. I HAVE NO IDEA!!!!! I have to say a little change wouldn't be a terrible thing. And if you know me, that's HUGE because I'm not changes biggest advocate. In fact I'm usually rooting against change. So maybe that means something. But what if yesterday in RockSprings means something. My connectedness strength is kicking me in the butt right now b/c I think everything means something!!

I feel like I'm at this place http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C-c8_OFwZoY

I looked it up and oddly enough it's called the leap of faith! It's that first step that is the scariest! I remember repelling once in youth group and I was so scared to take that first step. In fact I'm always scared. Jumping off a dock or something else like that I'm always a big talker until I get to that first step of actually doing it! I have these two crazy friends that want to go sky diving. I'm not even trying to talk big about that! I'm saying NO WAY!!! But who knows?! Guess it's time for me to take a step of faith! Or is it?? Guess we'll see where I'm at in 6 months!

So I'm just thinkin...

Maybe wondering is a better word. Wondering about God's timing. Wondering why I'm not more grateful for the awesome things in my life, when all around me people are dealing with tragedy and loss. Then feeling guilty, but I don't want to have a false sense of gratitude. I want to be really genuine. Really authentic. Then I think about faith. And how much my faith has grown in the last year- year and a half. Then I think about days like today when my faith seems so small. So not faith-filled. It seems really small. And then I think about what I just listened to Beth Moore say about it's ok to wrestle with God, just don't give up. Wrestling doesn't mean an absence of faith. That God's not looking for perfection, He's looking for faith. And then I feel awful that God and I are on this constant roller coaster of faith. That my faith goes down into those valleys, then I'm reminded how Good He is. How awesome His plans are. How He sees me and knows me. Just this morning at church I was telling Him I was sorry b/c I was doubting, wrestling maybe, but mostly doubting. And then the sweet words of Jeremiah 29:11 were read aloud by Glenn, "I know the plans I have for you, plans to give you a hope and a future. Not to harm you." And sweetly the Lord lifted my head and reminded me that His plans are Good. And that He knows what they are, so therefore they have to exist. Thank you Lord!! But I hate that my faith wavers. The Lord deserves so much more than this weak faith I have to offer Him. But then He tells us it only takes a mustard seed size faith to move a mountain. And mustard seeds are small! Really small! I know cause Mama gave me one once. Gosh- does that mean my faith is like microscopic?? I hope not. And I don't think it is. I think it's sorta big and it's growing. I hope it is. I'm not gonna let a day of doubting steal my joy or my faith! Beth is right (about a lot of things, but especially this!) that it's ok to wrestle with God and our faith, because out of times like these our faith grows. And I'd much rather have a growing faith, that sometimes doubts, than a faith that's stagnant.

Maybe the title of this shoulda been "So I'm just ramblin'" but that's what I was thinking about and it feels better to have gotten that out.

So... THE END.

Trying not to take it for granted...

So yesterday was Wesley's Leadership Day. Yes, day. Not retreat. Just a day. And I have to say it was a fabulous decision.

I'm not a fan of change of any sort. But through the "stretching" of change the Lord has done a lot in me. I probably wouldn't "volunteer" for the lessons the Lord wants to teach me or the changes for that matter, so like a Good Father the Lord just made me. And I'm super thankful for it! He's helped me see how un-honoring I can be, selfish, and easily offended I can be. Like I said- not the most fun. But so for my good. And hopefully helping me to look at little more like Him.

As we wrapped up the day yesterday with worship and prayer I found my self overwhelmed with how incredibly awesome my job is. There were at least 250 if not 300 people there worshipping the Lord. There were so many college students seeking the Lord, asking for Him to come and change our campus. Think about that for a minute. It's AMAZING!! I realized how much I've taken my job for granted. How incredible it is to be surrounded by so many people who really love the Lord. And really want to serve the people, students, and kids of Athens. (I understand that students and kids are people too, but you get my point.) It's really exciting.

And the thought of this potentially being my last leadership day/retreat/whatever was more than sad. I said potentially. I have no idea what the Lord has in store. I don't know where I'd go. I don't know what I'd do. I just know that if it is the last year, God will provide something. Financially, relationally, physically, all of the -ally's you can think of. Because that's Who He IS. And I'm trying not to take that for granted either.

Pizza- it's what's for dinner

I promise I'm not a foodie! I save that business for Clay. 

My parents told me about a yummy pizz

a dough you can get from Publix. Well after a lot of questions and bit of persistence at my Publix I came home with the dough! And tonight was pizza night! It was extra de-lish thanks to Clay and Debs letting me borrow their pizza stone. Thanks guys! 

All I did was saute some baby bellas and onion. 

put a little spaghetti sauce on the dough, then

 then some sun dried tomatoes, the mushrooms & onions, and then finished it off with some mozzarella cheese. Baked for 10 min. on a very hot stone (460 degrees) and there you have it! 

Yummy in my tummy!! 

I made a little spinach salad to go with it! 

Introductions to me & my quiche...

Hello blog world!! 

Or to myself because I'm so nervous about this here blog that nobody but Lindsay knows that it exists. And I'm not too worried about Lou telling anyone because she's the best secret keeper there is and too busy with school work to even care about this little blog. 

So as I said in the description, this blog came about all because of my first ever quiche! I made one this mornin

g. Been feeling very domestic lately and trying a lot of new recipes. And since I was so excited about this quiche I thought I'd share it with people. Which very much contradicts the idea of keeping this a secret! I know- it's a dilemma for sure. We'll just see what happens. 

So for the infamous quiche. Lou and I have been (off and on) trying to eat a little more low-carb. This was ultimately inspired for me by Kendall's wedding, or more specifically her brides maid's dress! (whenever I can figure out how to underline that and link it to a super cure picture of me in my dress I will. I'll have to ask Annie about that!) Basically, breakfast has gotten a little boring, so I was brainstorming ways to spruce it up! Bacon, eggs, bacon, eggs... a QUICHE!! So I hopped on foodnetwork.com and found myself a yummy sounding recipe! After a trip to the grocery store and some other shenanigans I woke up this morning went to town! After making it, and enjoying it, I decided to tweak the recipe a little. I'm working on putting up a picture of it and posting the recipe! Oh- and I made it in the pie plate that Julie gave me for Valentine's Day. (That was part of the draw too, I've really been wanting to use my cute dish!!) 

Try it (oh this means I'm telling people, or just a select few to start I guess) and let me know what you think! About the blog and the quiche! Just be nice! Remember what your Mama said- "if you can't say something nice"... 

Spinach and Bacon Quiche

Recipe courtesy Paula Deen (fellow butter lover and Albanian!) 

Changes I made are in italics and bolded... 

Prep Time:

15 min

Inactive Prep Time:

hr min

Cook Time:

45 min – was ready after about 30 min.

Level:

Easy

Serves:

8 servings

 

Ingredients

6 large eggs, beaten

1 1/2 cups heavy cream –  maybe a little more, could use half & half.

Salt and pepper- used more pepper than salt b/c of bacon

2 cups chopped fresh baby spinach, packed (wilt first, next time)

1 pound bacon, cooked and crumbled (maybe half the bacon)

1 1/2 cups shredded Swiss cheese (maybe just 1- 1 ¼ cups)

1 (9-inch) refrigerated pie crust, fitted to a 9-inch glass pie plate (let get to room temp)

Directions

Preheat the oven to 375 degrees F.

Combine the eggs, cream, salt, and pepper in a food processor or blender. Layer the spinach, bacon, and cheese in the bottom of the pie crust, then pour the egg mixture on top. Bake for 35 to 45 minutes until the egg mixture is set. Cut into 8 wedges.